Seeing as everything these days has some form of achievement system (Xbox 360, Steam, social networks, etc), I've decided to implement an achievement system for this blog (they can be found using the title bar at the top of the page). It's just something silly, but it'll be fun to keep track of certain milestones. If you guys have any ideas for achievements I should shoot for, let me know, and I'll add them to a "currently locked achievements" section.
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The Birthday Cake is a Lie (and Poisonous)!
Amazing how time flies, today is the one-year anniversary of the first "Strange Moment in Gaming History" post on this blog! Many thanks to everyone who has read and commented on my posts!
So why don't we celebrate with the cake from Portal?
Before you dig in though, you might want to read through the list of ingredients for the cake, which contains some inedible items, such as "fish shaped solid waste" and "fish shaped dirt." If you feel that your stomach can handle GLaDOS' stomach-dissolving cake, well then enjoy!
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So why don't we celebrate with the cake from Portal?
Before you dig in though, you might want to read through the list of ingredients for the cake, which contains some inedible items, such as "fish shaped solid waste" and "fish shaped dirt." If you feel that your stomach can handle GLaDOS' stomach-dissolving cake, well then enjoy!
The Dark Side of Voice Acting in Games
Voice acting in videogames always seems to be hit or miss. The voice actors either do a fantastic job, which immerses us into the story, or they fail spectacularly, leading to years of Youtube memes and bad jokes on gaming forums. In the past I have written about some of the most famous instances of laughable voice acting, so today I'd like to try something different.
If you're a geek like me, you enjoy looking up game voice actors on IMDB in order to see all the various game characters they've voiced throughout their careers. There's no doubt that while they may be proud to have voiced certain characters, they most certainly harbor deep feelings of shame at the thought of some of the other pixelated bozos they were suckered into voicing.
Take for instance John DiMaggio, the voice actor for Marcus Fenix of the Gears of War series (as well as roughly one billion other game characters).
As hard as it is to believe, the voice actor of the chainsaw-wielding bad-ass is also the same guy who voiced the goofy hairstyle-challenged Wakka from Final Fantasy X.
Ouch right? That's not even the worst case. Remember our good buddy Grunt from Mass Effect 2?
This unstoppable tank of a Krogan was voiced by Steve Blum, who just happens to be the same guy who voiced the super-creepy Yellow Monkey in Ape Escape 3.
Hearing Grunt talk about killing things just won't be the same after learning about this unfortunate connection to the Ape Escape franchise. Anyway, now we move on to what I consider the most tragic story of all: Jon St. John, the voice of Duke Nukem.
We've all heard the awesome one-liners, and we've all witnessed the 80's action-hero badassness that is Duke Nukem (ok not so much in his latest outing, but we can look past that because he's the Duke!). But did you know that Jon St. John is also a voice actor in the somewhat recent (Dreamcast era to present) Sonic the Hedgehog games? If the knowledge that Duke's voice actor is present in the Sonic series didn't make you run from your computer to go cry over your copy of Duke Nukem 3D, then maybe this will: Jon St. John voices Big the Cat.
No you didn't read that wrong, the idiotic, annoying, clumsy blob Big the Cat shares the same voice actor with Duke Freaking Nukem. It's painful isn't it? I had to emulate a copy of Sonic Adventure just to verify it and witness the horror for myself. Curse you Sega!!
And that wraps up this quick look at the dark side of voice acting. Have you ever had any funny/shocking moments upon discovering the various characters a voice actor has...um...voiced? Let me know, I'd like to hear your stories!
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If you're a geek like me, you enjoy looking up game voice actors on IMDB in order to see all the various game characters they've voiced throughout their careers. There's no doubt that while they may be proud to have voiced certain characters, they most certainly harbor deep feelings of shame at the thought of some of the other pixelated bozos they were suckered into voicing.
Take for instance John DiMaggio, the voice actor for Marcus Fenix of the Gears of War series (as well as roughly one billion other game characters).
As hard as it is to believe, the voice actor of the chainsaw-wielding bad-ass is also the same guy who voiced the goofy hairstyle-challenged Wakka from Final Fantasy X.
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| Let's go kill some Locust, ya? |
Ouch right? That's not even the worst case. Remember our good buddy Grunt from Mass Effect 2?
This unstoppable tank of a Krogan was voiced by Steve Blum, who just happens to be the same guy who voiced the super-creepy Yellow Monkey in Ape Escape 3.
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| Tingle's got some competition in the creepiness category. |
We've all heard the awesome one-liners, and we've all witnessed the 80's action-hero badassness that is Duke Nukem (ok not so much in his latest outing, but we can look past that because he's the Duke!). But did you know that Jon St. John is also a voice actor in the somewhat recent (Dreamcast era to present) Sonic the Hedgehog games? If the knowledge that Duke's voice actor is present in the Sonic series didn't make you run from your computer to go cry over your copy of Duke Nukem 3D, then maybe this will: Jon St. John voices Big the Cat.
No you didn't read that wrong, the idiotic, annoying, clumsy blob Big the Cat shares the same voice actor with Duke Freaking Nukem. It's painful isn't it? I had to emulate a copy of Sonic Adventure just to verify it and witness the horror for myself. Curse you Sega!!
And that wraps up this quick look at the dark side of voice acting. Have you ever had any funny/shocking moments upon discovering the various characters a voice actor has...um...voiced? Let me know, I'd like to hear your stories!
E3 Aftermath, and Halo 4: Master Chief Rides Again
Another year, another E3 come and gone. I have to say I'm a bit disappointed with the show this year, I was expecting the Wii U to have a stronger presence. It would have been awesome if Nintendo came along with a new Mario game (New Super Mario Bros doesn't count!), Zelda game, and Donkey Kong game, and really showed us how the gameplay can be fresh and exciting with the new tablet controller.
Also I'm a bit angry with Valve for not making any announcements. A couple months back, Gabe Newell (the co-founder of Valve) said that Valve would be announcing "all our favorite things" at E3, including a game with a '3' in it. Those of us who have been waiting for Half-Life 2: Episode 3 (or just Half-Life 3) were pretty much jumping for joy at this point. A couple weeks after this exciting statement, Newell followed up by saying he was pretty much lying through his teeth: Valve would not be making any announcements at E3. Even after hearing this, I still held onto some hope, but alas, no announcements.
What surprised me the most at this year's E3 was the trailer and gameplay demo of Halo 4. It did something I never thought possible: it got me interested in the Halo series again. After playing the disappointing Halo 3: ODST, I vowed never to buy another Halo game again. However, the trailer for Halo 4 appeals to my inner sci-fi geek; it looks like the game might actually have a strong story! I'm very interested in learning about the world the Master Chief is stranded on, which appears to be populated by Forerunner-created AI. Also I'm wondering why the Elites are an enemy again (make up your mind guys!).
What were your favorite moments of E3 2012? Is there anything you're especially excited about?
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| Doomed to be a gimmick? Let's hope not. |
Also I'm a bit angry with Valve for not making any announcements. A couple months back, Gabe Newell (the co-founder of Valve) said that Valve would be announcing "all our favorite things" at E3, including a game with a '3' in it. Those of us who have been waiting for Half-Life 2: Episode 3 (or just Half-Life 3) were pretty much jumping for joy at this point. A couple weeks after this exciting statement, Newell followed up by saying he was pretty much lying through his teeth: Valve would not be making any announcements at E3. Even after hearing this, I still held onto some hope, but alas, no announcements.
What surprised me the most at this year's E3 was the trailer and gameplay demo of Halo 4. It did something I never thought possible: it got me interested in the Halo series again. After playing the disappointing Halo 3: ODST, I vowed never to buy another Halo game again. However, the trailer for Halo 4 appeals to my inner sci-fi geek; it looks like the game might actually have a strong story! I'm very interested in learning about the world the Master Chief is stranded on, which appears to be populated by Forerunner-created AI. Also I'm wondering why the Elites are an enemy again (make up your mind guys!).
What were your favorite moments of E3 2012? Is there anything you're especially excited about?
The Unexpected Non-Rock Songs of Rock Band
I still remember the music videogame craze, the time when everyone wanted to own a set of plastic musical instruments. Those were the days. I was one of the many gamers who picked up Rock Band on the day it launched, and looking back at all the hours I've spent on the game (and Rock Band 2, and The Beatles Rock Band), I don't regret it at all.
Now in a game called "Rock Band," you expect the soundtrack to consist entirely of rock songs right? This was not the case; for example the game shipped with a Beastie Boys song, and as the DLC rolled in, we were treated to music of varying genres.
Speaking of the DLC, some really questionable songs managed to make it to the download store, including music by this fellow right here:
Yes I kid you not, there are songs from Spongebob Squarepants available for purchase in the Rock Band download store. I guess Harmonix was trying to appeal to all ages? Whatever they were thinking, these songs are extremely out of place in Rock Band, and if you still don't believe that Harmonix has committed such an atrocity, see for yourself:
Another questionable inclusion is a South Park version of Lady Gaga's Poker Face (the original Poker Face is also available for download, and it has no business being in Rock Band either). Truth be told, this song seems even more out of place than the Spongebob music, seeing as it's a non-rock song being covered by Cartman from South Park.
Lastly we come to an out of place and extremely awesome song for Rock Band: Still Alive from Portal. This song was originally released as April Fool's Day DLC, and even though you get some laughs from seeing the in-game singers performing with GLaDOS' voice, you can't help but love this song no matter what game it makes a cameo appearance in.
That wraps up our look at some of the non-rock songs in the Rock Band DLC. Out of curiosity, did you guys make any questionable download decisions in the Rock Band download store?
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Now in a game called "Rock Band," you expect the soundtrack to consist entirely of rock songs right? This was not the case; for example the game shipped with a Beastie Boys song, and as the DLC rolled in, we were treated to music of varying genres.
Speaking of the DLC, some really questionable songs managed to make it to the download store, including music by this fellow right here:
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| Why Harmonix, why?? |
Another questionable inclusion is a South Park version of Lady Gaga's Poker Face (the original Poker Face is also available for download, and it has no business being in Rock Band either). Truth be told, this song seems even more out of place than the Spongebob music, seeing as it's a non-rock song being covered by Cartman from South Park.
Lastly we come to an out of place and extremely awesome song for Rock Band: Still Alive from Portal. This song was originally released as April Fool's Day DLC, and even though you get some laughs from seeing the in-game singers performing with GLaDOS' voice, you can't help but love this song no matter what game it makes a cameo appearance in.
That wraps up our look at some of the non-rock songs in the Rock Band DLC. Out of curiosity, did you guys make any questionable download decisions in the Rock Band download store?
Bioshock Infinite Delayed to 2013, Here's Hoping For Improvement!
I'm not sure if you've already heard of this, but Bioshock Infinite has been delayed until February 2013. It saddened me to realize I was indifferent to this news, I'm just not excited about the game.
For me, Bioshock has always been about exploring dark, creepy, mostly abandoned areas while encountering hideous mutants. Some of the magic was lost in Bioshock 2, because the game focused more on non-stop action and much less on the slow-paced, tense exploration sequences. In fact, scary jump-out-of-your-seat moments were completely absent from Bioshock 2.
I worry that this trend of turning the series into a Call of Duty-style non-stop gunfight will continue with Infinite. The game features wide open environments for sniping and long range combat, but there is still hope because returning are the claustrophobic areas with the close range combat we all know and love.
Also, Bioshock Infinite does seem to retain the theme of trying to piece together what went wrong in an isolated community while you battle the vicious locals (who sadly don't seem to be complete abominations like the Splicers). There's even hope that Infinite will have some of the creepiness from the previous games in the series. One of the enemies is a mechanical George Washington who wields a minigun and hunts you down like the Terminator:
One look at that creepy porcelain doll face and you know you are going to dread running into these guys at close quarters. Alright so maybe I'm a little bit excited for this game, if the devs can make sure it still feels like Bioshock (and please bring back the jump-out-of-your-seat moments!) then this one might be worth checking out.
How about you guys, are you looking forward to Bioshock Infinite? Do you think it can reclaim the magic of the first Bioshock game?
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For me, Bioshock has always been about exploring dark, creepy, mostly abandoned areas while encountering hideous mutants. Some of the magic was lost in Bioshock 2, because the game focused more on non-stop action and much less on the slow-paced, tense exploration sequences. In fact, scary jump-out-of-your-seat moments were completely absent from Bioshock 2.
I worry that this trend of turning the series into a Call of Duty-style non-stop gunfight will continue with Infinite. The game features wide open environments for sniping and long range combat, but there is still hope because returning are the claustrophobic areas with the close range combat we all know and love.
Also, Bioshock Infinite does seem to retain the theme of trying to piece together what went wrong in an isolated community while you battle the vicious locals (who sadly don't seem to be complete abominations like the Splicers). There's even hope that Infinite will have some of the creepiness from the previous games in the series. One of the enemies is a mechanical George Washington who wields a minigun and hunts you down like the Terminator:
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| You'll never look at a quarter the same way again. |
How about you guys, are you looking forward to Bioshock Infinite? Do you think it can reclaim the magic of the first Bioshock game?
When Star Wars Characters are out of Place
I like a good cameo appearance as much as anyone, and that's especially true when it comes to characters from one of my all-time favorite franchises: Star Wars. When done correctly, with proper respect paid to the characters and the entire franchise, these cameos can be awesome. When done not so well, we are left with something that's at best awkward, and at worst cringe-worthy. Today we're going to take a look at some games that have had the privilege of including one or more Star Wars characters, even when they didn't quite fit in.
Actually, including this game on the list shouldn't come as too big of a surprise. The Tony Hawk series has been known to have crazy casts of secret characters, allowing you to bust combos as Iron Man or Bigfoot. Tony Hawk 3 is notable due to the fact that one of the secret characters is the bad-ass who was killed off too quickly: Darth Maul.
Once you get over the fact that you are witnessing a Star Wars character perform 360 tailgrabs, you'll find that Darth Maul still looks like a bad-ass as he shreds around the maps holding his double-bladed lightsaber. Therefore, this cameo appearance isn't one that should make you cringe too hard, unless of course you're one of those anti-everything-in-Episode 1 people.
When you think of the Soulcalibur games, what usually comes to mind are Victorian-era environments and characters obsessed with evil swords. I'm willing to bet you don't immediately think of Darth Vader delivering a beatdown on Mitsurugi. However, thanks to Soulcalibur IV, this is now the case! The fourth game in this series included three Star Wars characters: Darth Vader, Yoda, and the Apprentice (from The Force Unleashed).
These characters are all way out of place in a Soulcalibur game, and sadly they all look just plain goofy while they battle the fantasy characters who are regulars in the series. Forget a galaxy far far away, the Soulcalibur universe is a whole other dimension far far away from Star Wars. To Namco's credit, they did do a good job making sure the Star Wars characters retained their mannerisms instead of going all out goofy, and playing a Darth Vader vs. Yoda battle in a Star Destroyer docking bay is pretty awesome.
I can hear you all forming the same sentence: "Now wait a minute Rob, how can this be a cameo appearance when this is an actual Star Wars game?" Well I had no choice but to include this game on my list, due to the disastrous way the developers handled our beloved Star Wars characters in the dance mode (there shouldn't even be a dance mode in a Star Wars game). In the movies, Emperor Palpatine does NOT dance, neither does Darth Vader or any other protagonist/antagonist in the series. Yet Kinect Star Wars has all of our favorite characters busting a groove and looking completely stupid doing so. Words cannot describe it, so you'll have to see for yourself:
And that concludes our quick look at some Star Wars cameos in other game franchises. If you're a Star Wars fan, I hope this list didn't ruin the series too much for you! I personally get along just fine by pretending the lousy Kinect game doesn't exist.
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Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3
Actually, including this game on the list shouldn't come as too big of a surprise. The Tony Hawk series has been known to have crazy casts of secret characters, allowing you to bust combos as Iron Man or Bigfoot. Tony Hawk 3 is notable due to the fact that one of the secret characters is the bad-ass who was killed off too quickly: Darth Maul.
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| Judging by the way he's holding that lightsaber, I don't think he recommends you try to edit his appearance or board. |
Soulcalibur IV
When you think of the Soulcalibur games, what usually comes to mind are Victorian-era environments and characters obsessed with evil swords. I'm willing to bet you don't immediately think of Darth Vader delivering a beatdown on Mitsurugi. However, thanks to Soulcalibur IV, this is now the case! The fourth game in this series included three Star Wars characters: Darth Vader, Yoda, and the Apprentice (from The Force Unleashed).
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| What? Don't you remember when Darth Vader and Yoda dueled in the medieval castle in The Empire Strikes Back? |
The Dance Mode in Kinect Star Wars
I can hear you all forming the same sentence: "Now wait a minute Rob, how can this be a cameo appearance when this is an actual Star Wars game?" Well I had no choice but to include this game on my list, due to the disastrous way the developers handled our beloved Star Wars characters in the dance mode (there shouldn't even be a dance mode in a Star Wars game). In the movies, Emperor Palpatine does NOT dance, neither does Darth Vader or any other protagonist/antagonist in the series. Yet Kinect Star Wars has all of our favorite characters busting a groove and looking completely stupid doing so. Words cannot describe it, so you'll have to see for yourself:
And that concludes our quick look at some Star Wars cameos in other game franchises. If you're a Star Wars fan, I hope this list didn't ruin the series too much for you! I personally get along just fine by pretending the lousy Kinect game doesn't exist.
The Big Head Cheat Code
Okay admit it, you have used the infamous "Big Head" cheat code in at least one videogame during your years of gaming. And while we are visiting this nostalgic cheat code, it's okay to admit that you had a case of the giggles while witnessing balloon-headed characters go about their business. As a kid I used this code countless times for various Nintendo 64 games, even if it only provided a laugh for about 20 seconds.
It seems like this cheat code used to be included in multiple genres of games, from sports games like NFL Blitz...
...to first person shooters such as Goldeneye 007 on the N64:
Why did developers provide this cheat in so many games? And why did we use this code? Let's not be in denial, it was used, or else it would have gone extinct very early on. Surely we aren't that immature to actually like this cheat code, are we? Yes, we are, we like seeing distorted humans walk/run/talk. It's cheap humor, and apparently it extended playtime to the point where developers found it worthwhile to include it in their games.
I hope this post was able to bring back some memories of the days when we would laugh at something stupid such as this......alright who am I kidding? We still laugh at stupid things, otherwise Youtube would have disappeared long ago.
Out of curiosity, what were your favorite cheat codes back in the day?
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It seems like this cheat code used to be included in multiple genres of games, from sports games like NFL Blitz...
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| One of the stranger big head cheat codes, in most games this code usually makes all characters rock the swollen melon. |
...to first person shooters such as Goldeneye 007 on the N64:
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| Bond contemplates jumping off the dam to end the headache you have inflicted upon him. |
Why did developers provide this cheat in so many games? And why did we use this code? Let's not be in denial, it was used, or else it would have gone extinct very early on. Surely we aren't that immature to actually like this cheat code, are we? Yes, we are, we like seeing distorted humans walk/run/talk. It's cheap humor, and apparently it extended playtime to the point where developers found it worthwhile to include it in their games.
I hope this post was able to bring back some memories of the days when we would laugh at something stupid such as this......alright who am I kidding? We still laugh at stupid things, otherwise Youtube would have disappeared long ago.
Out of curiosity, what were your favorite cheat codes back in the day?
Birdy the Alcoholic Scarecrow
I love Conker's Bad Fur Day. Say what you will about having a game filled with crude adult humor on a Nintendo system, but this is still the funniest game I've ever played. The stages, most of which parodied popular movies, were all memorable and enjoyable (as well as frustrating, I'm looking at you, dinosaur-themed world). We know from a previous posting about a certain sentient pile of dung that Conker has its fair share of weirdness, and today I want to talk about one of my favorite characters in the game: Birdy the Scarecrow.
You are introduced to Birdy fairly early in the game, in a tutorial sequence that teaches Conker how to use context-sensitive platforms (which are just platforms you stand on in order to activate a special power-up specific to that area of the map). After you get over the shock of having a creepy-looking scarecrow come to life and talk to you, you immediately notice that this guy is totally wasted. What follows is a hilarious conversation between Conker and Birdy where Birdy tries to explain the concept of context-sensitive areas, while clearly not knowing the meaning of context-sensitivity.
But in the end, Conker finally uses a nearby context-sensitive (trust me, after watching this sequence of the game, you will never get tired of saying "context-sensitive") platform to give a beer to his new straw-filled buddy.
Sadly you only run into Birdy at one other point in the game, during another funny sequence where he rambles on about reading manuals and wanting Mepsi Pax (a play on Pepsi Max, a favorite drink of a member of the Conker development team who was nicknamed Beardy). Whether you love him or are annoyed with him, you have to agree that Birdy is one weird and unique character!
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| He almost looks like a distant relative of Jack Skellington from the Nightmare Before Christmas. |
You are introduced to Birdy fairly early in the game, in a tutorial sequence that teaches Conker how to use context-sensitive platforms (which are just platforms you stand on in order to activate a special power-up specific to that area of the map). After you get over the shock of having a creepy-looking scarecrow come to life and talk to you, you immediately notice that this guy is totally wasted. What follows is a hilarious conversation between Conker and Birdy where Birdy tries to explain the concept of context-sensitive areas, while clearly not knowing the meaning of context-sensitivity.
But in the end, Conker finally uses a nearby context-sensitive (trust me, after watching this sequence of the game, you will never get tired of saying "context-sensitive") platform to give a beer to his new straw-filled buddy.
Sadly you only run into Birdy at one other point in the game, during another funny sequence where he rambles on about reading manuals and wanting Mepsi Pax (a play on Pepsi Max, a favorite drink of a member of the Conker development team who was nicknamed Beardy). Whether you love him or are annoyed with him, you have to agree that Birdy is one weird and unique character!
Mass Effect 3: Unanswered Questions (No Spoilers)
Good ol' Mass Effect 3, currently the biggest punching bag in the gaming industry. I finally beat the game and encountered the dreaded ending. It actually wasn't as bad as I was expecting, but I won't go into it here because I promised no spoilers. Today I want to talk about some nagging questions that popped up during my first play-through of ME3, feel free to comment about any unanswered questions that bothered you about the game, as a big fan of the series I'd love to hear them!
1. What happened to all the mechs?
I know that everyone has been complaining about the game's ending, and how most of it goes unexplained, but oddly the disappearance of the mechs that were so prominent in Mass Effect 2 has nagged me from the very beginning. In ME2 mechs were everywhere: the Citadel, Omega, random planets, you name it. Then Mass Effect 3 arrives, and we find that they have all but vanished without a trace. It's not like the events of ME3 happen twenty years or so after the ending of ME2, so I find it hard to believe that galaxy wide technology can be completely wiped out in only a year or so. Even the Reapers would be jealous of the speed at which the mechs were exterminated.
Sure you might argue it was mentioned that Aria's mercenary groups would bring their mechs into the battle against the Reapers, so I guess these groups somehow stockpiled an entire galaxy full of robots.
2. Why do Brute husks look like Elcor when they are explained to be a Turian/Krogan hybrid?
I might be nitpicking here, but I can't be the only one who sees the resemblance between the Elcor and the Brutes. They have a similar shape and a similar hunched-over gait. They even have the same need to state every single emotion they feel while they are trying to kill you (only joking!). Brutes are obviously much larger than Turians and Krogans, while only being slightly larger than the Elcor. I find that fact notable since the other types of husks are mostly the same size as the races they are created from. I guess the short answer to this question is that Bioware needed to find some way to rip off the Hunter from Halo, the Berserker from Gears of War, and the (insert giant bad guy that charges at you) from (insert popular game here).
3. What happened to the all-human Council?
Ambassador Udina lied to me, damned politicians! At the end of Mass Effect 1 after I let the original Council die, Udina stated that the new Council would be composed entirely of humans. During ME2, the Council didn't make an appearance (well it did, but that was when I played through as a nice Shepard who saved the Council in ME1), so I let it slide. But in ME3, you find that the original Council has been replaced by another Council made up of a Turian, an Asari, and a Salarian. Who needs continuity? Certainly not us gamers who bought the Mass Effect games just so we could see how our choices had consequences throughout the whole series...
4. How is the Reapers' armor so damn tough?
Seriously, throughout the game you see the giant capital ship Reapers casually shrug off heavy weapons fire, making it seem as if the races of the galaxy equipped pea-shooters on all their warships. How is it possible to make steel plating so durable? Maybe the Reapers were built inside a black hole, with the extreme gravitational pressures making the material extra dense. Die-hard Mass Effect fans will surely defend this by saying the Reapers have incredible force-field shields surrounding their ships, but their toughness still bothers me. Also, why do the humans never fire off some nukes at the Reapers orbiting Earth? If anything, it would eliminate the thousands of Oculi swarming around the Reapers.
On a side note, am I the only person who wondered how the Reapers would hold up against the Molecular Disruption Device (Little Doctor, Dr. Device, etc) from Ender's Game?
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1. What happened to all the mechs?
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| The very first species to go extinct as a result of the Reaper invasion. |
Sure you might argue it was mentioned that Aria's mercenary groups would bring their mechs into the battle against the Reapers, so I guess these groups somehow stockpiled an entire galaxy full of robots.
2. Why do Brute husks look like Elcor when they are explained to be a Turian/Krogan hybrid?
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| Amused. Silly human, you can't hurt me. In Pain. Put down the shotgun human. |
3. What happened to the all-human Council?
Ambassador Udina lied to me, damned politicians! At the end of Mass Effect 1 after I let the original Council die, Udina stated that the new Council would be composed entirely of humans. During ME2, the Council didn't make an appearance (well it did, but that was when I played through as a nice Shepard who saved the Council in ME1), so I let it slide. But in ME3, you find that the original Council has been replaced by another Council made up of a Turian, an Asari, and a Salarian. Who needs continuity? Certainly not us gamers who bought the Mass Effect games just so we could see how our choices had consequences throughout the whole series...
4. How is the Reapers' armor so damn tough?
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| Shepard ponders the mystery of Reaper-brand sheet metal. |
On a side note, am I the only person who wondered how the Reapers would hold up against the Molecular Disruption Device (Little Doctor, Dr. Device, etc) from Ender's Game?
The Pain of Disappointing Game Endings
Well look what I found under this pile of dust, the Strange Moments in Gaming blog! It has been far too long since the last update, so it's time to fire up the gaming consoles once again and deliver another article.
I'll admit, I haven't finished Mass Effect 3 yet. I'm thoroughly enjoying Commander Shepard's last attempt to save the galaxy, and I find that I'm trying to do as many side missions as possible, while avoiding the main missions. One of the main reasons I'm taking my time heading to the conclusion of the series is the fact that so many "gamers" are whining about the disappointing ending. The fact that people have gone so far as to host a fundraising petition to get Bioware's attention is not very encouraging. On a side note, if you're going to petition something, how about petitioning to stop developers from ruining franchises by milking the cash cows to death (do we really need a new Assassin's Creed game every single year??).
All the hating on Bioware has got me thinking about other disappointing endings to games I have played. So here we go! It's time to re-live the pain.
Now that we've all played through Halo 3 and know how the series concludes, we can somewhat forgive Bungie for the Halo 2 ending. But the uproar of angry gamers has been ringing in my ears since 2004. At the time the ending felt like a slap to the face, almost as if Bungie ran out of time and had to cut the game short. Things were just getting good in the story; the Elites had joined forces with the humans, the Covenant were about to invade Earth, not knowing the Master Chief was a stowaway on their ship, and we were ready to kick some ass. But sadly, what we got was a short cut-scene of the Master Chief saying he was ready to finish the fight, followed by the ending credits (goodbye Halo 2, hello years of waiting for Halo 3 to be developed!). Now that I think of it, maybe I haven't forgiven Bungie as much as I thought.
The ending of Halo 3 was almost as bad, because at the time this was supposed to be the last game in the main series. Once again Bungie hit us with another cliffhanger. The Master Chief is stranded out on the edge of the galaxy, and as if that wasn't bad enough, a gigantic Death Star-like object approaches the Chief's location, leaving us with more questions than ever.
Sadly this game is a letdown in many ways. The original Deus Ex had incredibly deep customization of character skills which allowed for each play-through to be mostly unique. In the sequel, Invisible War, most of this had been cut out, making the entire game feel dumbed down in order to appeal to as wide an audience as possible. I only experienced a couple of the possible endings in Invisible War, but each one had me shaking my head in disappointment, muttering "that's it??" For such a story-driven series, the endings of Invisible War are incredibly brief and barely showcase the consequences of your choices/actions throughout the game. You are left wondering what has become of this world you have immersed yourself in, and it's not like you get any answers in Deus Ex: Human Revolution, which is a prequel to the first Deus Ex.
Ok, I know that the GTA games are mainly about enjoying the large sandbox world that Rockstar always gives us, but damn was this ending depressing. You are given two options towards the end of the game, and each option results in someone close to Niko getting murdered. There's no feel-good GTA San Andreas ending here, just a short cut-scene of Niko reflecting on the murder, making us wonder why Rockstar didn't cut the poor guy a break after his struggles throughout the game.
And that wraps up this entry about disappointing game endings. Which games have set you up for disappointment in the past?
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I'll admit, I haven't finished Mass Effect 3 yet. I'm thoroughly enjoying Commander Shepard's last attempt to save the galaxy, and I find that I'm trying to do as many side missions as possible, while avoiding the main missions. One of the main reasons I'm taking my time heading to the conclusion of the series is the fact that so many "gamers" are whining about the disappointing ending. The fact that people have gone so far as to host a fundraising petition to get Bioware's attention is not very encouraging. On a side note, if you're going to petition something, how about petitioning to stop developers from ruining franchises by milking the cash cows to death (do we really need a new Assassin's Creed game every single year??).
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| Petitions make Shepard cry. |
The Cliffhangers of Halo 2 and Halo 3
Now that we've all played through Halo 3 and know how the series concludes, we can somewhat forgive Bungie for the Halo 2 ending. But the uproar of angry gamers has been ringing in my ears since 2004. At the time the ending felt like a slap to the face, almost as if Bungie ran out of time and had to cut the game short. Things were just getting good in the story; the Elites had joined forces with the humans, the Covenant were about to invade Earth, not knowing the Master Chief was a stowaway on their ship, and we were ready to kick some ass. But sadly, what we got was a short cut-scene of the Master Chief saying he was ready to finish the fight, followed by the ending credits (goodbye Halo 2, hello years of waiting for Halo 3 to be developed!). Now that I think of it, maybe I haven't forgiven Bungie as much as I thought.
The ending of Halo 3 was almost as bad, because at the time this was supposed to be the last game in the main series. Once again Bungie hit us with another cliffhanger. The Master Chief is stranded out on the edge of the galaxy, and as if that wasn't bad enough, a gigantic Death Star-like object approaches the Chief's location, leaving us with more questions than ever.
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| Could this be the beginnings of a Star Wars/Halo crossover? |
Deus Ex: Invisible War
Sadly this game is a letdown in many ways. The original Deus Ex had incredibly deep customization of character skills which allowed for each play-through to be mostly unique. In the sequel, Invisible War, most of this had been cut out, making the entire game feel dumbed down in order to appeal to as wide an audience as possible. I only experienced a couple of the possible endings in Invisible War, but each one had me shaking my head in disappointment, muttering "that's it??" For such a story-driven series, the endings of Invisible War are incredibly brief and barely showcase the consequences of your choices/actions throughout the game. You are left wondering what has become of this world you have immersed yourself in, and it's not like you get any answers in Deus Ex: Human Revolution, which is a prequel to the first Deus Ex.
Honorary Mention: Grand Theft Auto IV
Ok, I know that the GTA games are mainly about enjoying the large sandbox world that Rockstar always gives us, but damn was this ending depressing. You are given two options towards the end of the game, and each option results in someone close to Niko getting murdered. There's no feel-good GTA San Andreas ending here, just a short cut-scene of Niko reflecting on the murder, making us wonder why Rockstar didn't cut the poor guy a break after his struggles throughout the game.
And that wraps up this entry about disappointing game endings. Which games have set you up for disappointment in the past?
Twisted Metal on PS3, Sweet Tooth Rides Again
Whoa long time no update! Hope everyone is having great gaming sessions, lots of good stuff out there now (or almost ready to be released), such as Resident Evil Revelations, the new SSX, and the Playstation Vita. I've been playing the demo for the new Twisted Metal, and it has been awesome.
This new member of the series includes a few changes, such as the addition of "factions" (e.g. the Clowns faction where everyone dresses up like Sweet Tooth and tries desperately to be as evil and demented). This means you are no longer going solo as any of the characters, you always have some like-minded freak buddies backing you up. One thing that kind of bothers me is that you can put any character into any of the available vehicles, so if you always wanted to have Sweet Tooth ride Mr. Grimm's motorcycle, this game's for you (but I still believe that he should stick with his iconic ice cream truck).
One really interesting new feature is the helicopter vehicle, which allows you to soar high above your opponents, raining down a world of hurt with missiles and the mounted gun (which you can fire from a first person view). Who knows what this is going to do for multiplayer balance, are cheating bastards going to hang out high in the sky waiting for everyone else to kill each other?
Other than that this is classic Twisted Metal, with the usual power-ups, destructible environments, and control scheme, but with slightly improved vehicle handling. If you're a fan, there's no excuse for not taking the demo for a spin!
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| It's good to see they kept the same Sweet Tooth design from Twisted Metal Black |
This new member of the series includes a few changes, such as the addition of "factions" (e.g. the Clowns faction where everyone dresses up like Sweet Tooth and tries desperately to be as evil and demented). This means you are no longer going solo as any of the characters, you always have some like-minded freak buddies backing you up. One thing that kind of bothers me is that you can put any character into any of the available vehicles, so if you always wanted to have Sweet Tooth ride Mr. Grimm's motorcycle, this game's for you (but I still believe that he should stick with his iconic ice cream truck).
One really interesting new feature is the helicopter vehicle, which allows you to soar high above your opponents, raining down a world of hurt with missiles and the mounted gun (which you can fire from a first person view). Who knows what this is going to do for multiplayer balance, are cheating bastards going to hang out high in the sky waiting for everyone else to kill each other?
Other than that this is classic Twisted Metal, with the usual power-ups, destructible environments, and control scheme, but with slightly improved vehicle handling. If you're a fan, there's no excuse for not taking the demo for a spin!
Resident Evil 6 Announced!
Hey guys, just thought I'd share this news in case you haven't heard yet. Resident Evil 6 has been announced, with a release date of November 20th. Capcom has even released an official trailer, and I have to say that I'm really excited, because the series looks to be returning to its roots with actual zombies (but it looks like the parasites from RE4 and RE5 will still put in an appearance). Enjoy!
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Annoying Gaming Sidekicks: Round 2
A while back I wrote a blog entry about some of the irritating game characters who are sidekicks to the main protagonist. We've all experienced the pain of adventuring alongside one of these characters, who annoy us with their constant whining, excessive neediness, or any other rage-inducing personality traits. Today I thought I'd throw a few more annoying characters out there, so we can all reminisce about the times we wished we could toss our faithful sidekicks off a cliff.
Ah good ol' Pete, the biggest sissy in all of Bullworth Academy, which is the fictional school and main setting of Bully. Pete is one of the social outcasts of the school, not belonging to any of the various factions in Bullworth (Nerds, Preps, Greasers, and Jocks). In his own words, he's "too cool to be a dork, and too dorky to be anything else," although in my opinion the members of the nerd faction seem pretty badass in comparison.
As you can probably guess from the above quote, Petey constantly whines and bitches about his social status and the fact that he is constantly bullied, instead of trying to do something about it, leaving us annoyed rather than sympathetic. Have you ever had a friend who would never shut the hell up about his/her problems? Well thanks to Bully you get to experience those joyful one-sided conversations in a videogame! Sounds fun right? His appearances are fortunately very few and far in between (except towards the conclusion of the game), but he ends up becoming the only real friend of main character Jimmy, so we are stuck with his sorry ass until the credits roll.
Ok so maybe I'm getting picky once again, but the all-seeing, all-knowing voice in Ridge Racer 3D is always with you when you race, so that should be enough to qualify her as a sidekick. Prior to owning RR 3D, I have owned RR64, which included one race announcer who would talk occasionally, offering words of encouragement when you battled opponents, telling you how many laps were left, etc. Ridge Racer 3D still includes the announcer, but has also added a female commentator who comments on each...and...every..single...thing...you...do. Drive into a wall? Expect to hear her yell at you every time. Bump into an opponent? You will be chastised every time. Execute a drift?? Expect to hear a "nice drift!" or a "you're making me dizzy!"
As a side note, in case you live in a cave and have never heard of Ridge Racer, these games require that you drift through just about every turn, so in RR 3D expect to constantly hear repetitive commentary. I searched the game's manual thoroughly but I was unable to find the "throw your co-driver out the passenger door" button, oh well.
Well here we are, the mother (father?) of all annoying sidekicks. This gender ambiguous frog (I'm just going to flip a coin and say Slippy is a guy) has been splitting our eardrums since the Nintendo 64 days. Slippy's purpose in Star Fox 64 is to provide us with a damage meter for boss battles, as well as stating the obvious by telling us where the weak points are. The problem is that his voice is a high-pitched shriek from hell, made worse by the fact that he communicates with Fox using a radio that has the quality of a Fisher-Price walkie-talkie. Slippy's mostly pointless dialogue will pop up more often than you would like (ideally he should have had his vocal chords torn out before being allowed to join the Star Fox team).
When playing Star Fox 64, I usually try to get rid of Slippy as soon as possible by opening fire on his ship, but he even has the nerve to say "Hey! Why are you shooting at me?" in a pissed-off tone when you try to assassinate him, as if he doesn't know we all hate his guts. Talk about being in denial.
With the recent re-release of Star Fox 64 for the 3DS, a new generation of gamers gets to experience the ear-damaging annoyance that is Slippy Toad. Poor kids, not only is the 3DS ruining their eyesight, but this game is making them go deaf as well.
This concludes part 2 of Annoying Gaming Sidekicks. Until next time!
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Pete, from Rockstar's Bully
Ah good ol' Pete, the biggest sissy in all of Bullworth Academy, which is the fictional school and main setting of Bully. Pete is one of the social outcasts of the school, not belonging to any of the various factions in Bullworth (Nerds, Preps, Greasers, and Jocks). In his own words, he's "too cool to be a dork, and too dorky to be anything else," although in my opinion the members of the nerd faction seem pretty badass in comparison.
As you can probably guess from the above quote, Petey constantly whines and bitches about his social status and the fact that he is constantly bullied, instead of trying to do something about it, leaving us annoyed rather than sympathetic. Have you ever had a friend who would never shut the hell up about his/her problems? Well thanks to Bully you get to experience those joyful one-sided conversations in a videogame! Sounds fun right? His appearances are fortunately very few and far in between (except towards the conclusion of the game), but he ends up becoming the only real friend of main character Jimmy, so we are stuck with his sorry ass until the credits roll.
The Co-Driver/Passenger/Annoying Lady Voice from Ridge Racer 3D
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| I don't know if this is really her, but since she's the only girl shown in the game let's just say it is. |
As a side note, in case you live in a cave and have never heard of Ridge Racer, these games require that you drift through just about every turn, so in RR 3D expect to constantly hear repetitive commentary. I searched the game's manual thoroughly but I was unable to find the "throw your co-driver out the passenger door" button, oh well.
Slippy, from Star Fox 64
Well here we are, the mother (father?) of all annoying sidekicks. This gender ambiguous frog (I'm just going to flip a coin and say Slippy is a guy) has been splitting our eardrums since the Nintendo 64 days. Slippy's purpose in Star Fox 64 is to provide us with a damage meter for boss battles, as well as stating the obvious by telling us where the weak points are. The problem is that his voice is a high-pitched shriek from hell, made worse by the fact that he communicates with Fox using a radio that has the quality of a Fisher-Price walkie-talkie. Slippy's mostly pointless dialogue will pop up more often than you would like (ideally he should have had his vocal chords torn out before being allowed to join the Star Fox team).
When playing Star Fox 64, I usually try to get rid of Slippy as soon as possible by opening fire on his ship, but he even has the nerve to say "Hey! Why are you shooting at me?" in a pissed-off tone when you try to assassinate him, as if he doesn't know we all hate his guts. Talk about being in denial.
With the recent re-release of Star Fox 64 for the 3DS, a new generation of gamers gets to experience the ear-damaging annoyance that is Slippy Toad. Poor kids, not only is the 3DS ruining their eyesight, but this game is making them go deaf as well.
This concludes part 2 of Annoying Gaming Sidekicks. Until next time!
LittleBigPlanet: A World of Dreams, or Nightmares?
Happy New Year everyone! Sorry for the bit of a hiatus, I ended up getting a bit lazy around Christmas-time, I didn't even write the "Merry Christmas" post I was planning, which was going to include this video for all my fellow Team Fortress 2 players:
I hope everyone had a good Christmas and New Years! Now I figure it's time I get back to a semi-regular posting schedule. Today I wanted to talk about LittleBigPlanet, a game which I have been playing quite a bit lately. The opening narration states that the world of LittleBigPlanet is composed of the dreams of countless players, but I feel that it is composed of something more dark and disturbing than a simple happy dream. Looking at some aspects of this game, it appears to be more along the lines of hallucinations of an asylum full of deranged lunatics.
First of all, what is Sackboy (the main character of LittleBigPlanet, for all you PS3 haters out there) supposed to be?
Is he a Beanie Baby who had a horrible accident? He sort of reminds me of Sally from the Nightmare Before Christmas. I think it's pretty well known that dolls coming to life are some of the creepiest things known to mankind, yet this cloth Frankenstein was still chosen to be the protagonist of LittleBigPlanet. The fear has been dampened due to the fact that we have direct control over Sackboy, but others might feel revulsion when playing as this abomination.
Another weird feature of LittleBigPlanet is the group of levels that are each a mix of a haunted house, a graveyard, and a wedding reception (not joking). Upon arriving in this part of the planet, you are immediately introduced to a gigantic talking zombie/skeleton/bride, prompting you to again wonder whether some game developers should seek psychiatric help.
The levels are admittedly awesome, filled with dark passages, giant skeletons, and skull platforms that shriek and drop their jaws as you approach them.
But it's the bride and groom characters that steal the show, because of the giant zombie bride's level-destroying mood swings, and the tiny zombie groom's creepy belch-voice. Come to think of it, most characters in this game are pretty damn creepy. The art style, mixed with the fact that the characters all tower over Sackboy add a sense of surreality.
For all its strangeness, and especially because of its strangeness, I highly recommend you check this game out if you haven't already. The art style and gameplay are very unique and lots of fun, every level is custom made to the designer's vision (before you start a level it states the name of the person who built it). This is worth mentioning, because just about every single device (such as the skull platforms mentioned earlier) can be unlocked for you to use in your own custom built levels. In theory you could build clones of the same exact levels that you experience in the story mode.
Until next time!
reade more...
I hope everyone had a good Christmas and New Years! Now I figure it's time I get back to a semi-regular posting schedule. Today I wanted to talk about LittleBigPlanet, a game which I have been playing quite a bit lately. The opening narration states that the world of LittleBigPlanet is composed of the dreams of countless players, but I feel that it is composed of something more dark and disturbing than a simple happy dream. Looking at some aspects of this game, it appears to be more along the lines of hallucinations of an asylum full of deranged lunatics.
First of all, what is Sackboy (the main character of LittleBigPlanet, for all you PS3 haters out there) supposed to be?
Is he a Beanie Baby who had a horrible accident? He sort of reminds me of Sally from the Nightmare Before Christmas. I think it's pretty well known that dolls coming to life are some of the creepiest things known to mankind, yet this cloth Frankenstein was still chosen to be the protagonist of LittleBigPlanet. The fear has been dampened due to the fact that we have direct control over Sackboy, but others might feel revulsion when playing as this abomination.
Another weird feature of LittleBigPlanet is the group of levels that are each a mix of a haunted house, a graveyard, and a wedding reception (not joking). Upon arriving in this part of the planet, you are immediately introduced to a gigantic talking zombie/skeleton/bride, prompting you to again wonder whether some game developers should seek psychiatric help.
The levels are admittedly awesome, filled with dark passages, giant skeletons, and skull platforms that shriek and drop their jaws as you approach them.
But it's the bride and groom characters that steal the show, because of the giant zombie bride's level-destroying mood swings, and the tiny zombie groom's creepy belch-voice. Come to think of it, most characters in this game are pretty damn creepy. The art style, mixed with the fact that the characters all tower over Sackboy add a sense of surreality.
For all its strangeness, and especially because of its strangeness, I highly recommend you check this game out if you haven't already. The art style and gameplay are very unique and lots of fun, every level is custom made to the designer's vision (before you start a level it states the name of the person who built it). This is worth mentioning, because just about every single device (such as the skull platforms mentioned earlier) can be unlocked for you to use in your own custom built levels. In theory you could build clones of the same exact levels that you experience in the story mode.
Until next time!