The Unexpected Non-Rock Songs of Rock Band

I still remember the music videogame craze, the time when everyone wanted to own a set of plastic musical instruments.  Those were the days.  I was one of the many gamers who picked up Rock Band on the day it launched, and looking back at all the hours I've spent on the game (and Rock Band 2, and The Beatles Rock Band), I don't regret it at all.

Now in a game called "Rock Band," you expect the soundtrack to consist entirely of rock songs right?  This was not the case; for example the game shipped with a Beastie Boys song, and as the DLC rolled in, we were treated to music of varying genres.

Speaking of the DLC, some really questionable songs managed to make it to the download store, including music by this fellow right here:

Why Harmonix, why??

Yes I kid you not, there are songs from Spongebob Squarepants available for purchase in the Rock Band download store.  I guess Harmonix was trying to appeal to all ages?  Whatever they were thinking, these songs are extremely out of place in Rock Band, and if you still don't believe that Harmonix has committed such an atrocity, see for yourself:




Another questionable inclusion is a South Park version of Lady Gaga's Poker Face (the original Poker Face is also available for download, and it has no business being in Rock Band either).  Truth be told, this song seems even more out of place than the Spongebob music, seeing as it's a non-rock song being covered by Cartman from South Park.




Lastly we come to an out of place and extremely awesome song for Rock Band: Still Alive from Portal.  This song was originally released as April Fool's Day DLC, and even though you get some laughs from seeing the in-game singers performing with GLaDOS' voice, you can't help but love this song no matter what game it makes a cameo appearance in.




That wraps up our look at some of the non-rock songs in the Rock Band DLC.  Out of curiosity, did you guys make any questionable download decisions in the Rock Band download store?

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Bioshock Infinite Delayed to 2013, Here's Hoping For Improvement!

I'm not sure if you've already heard of this, but Bioshock Infinite has been delayed until February 2013.  It saddened me to realize I was indifferent to this news, I'm just not excited about the game.

For me, Bioshock has always been about exploring dark, creepy, mostly abandoned areas while encountering hideous mutants.  Some of the magic was lost in Bioshock 2, because the game focused more on non-stop action and much less on the slow-paced, tense exploration sequences.  In fact, scary jump-out-of-your-seat moments were completely absent from Bioshock 2.

I worry that this trend of turning the series into a Call of Duty-style non-stop gunfight will continue with Infinite.  The game features wide open environments for sniping and long range combat, but there is still hope because returning are the claustrophobic areas with the close range combat we all know and love.

Also, Bioshock Infinite does seem to retain the theme of trying to piece together what went wrong in an isolated community while you battle the vicious locals (who sadly don't seem to be complete abominations like the Splicers).  There's even hope that Infinite will have some of the creepiness from the previous games in the series.  One of the enemies is a mechanical George Washington who wields a minigun and hunts you down like the Terminator:

You'll never look at a quarter the same way again.

One look at that creepy porcelain doll face and you know you are going to dread running into these guys at close quarters.  Alright so maybe I'm a little bit excited for this game, if the devs can make sure it still feels like Bioshock (and please bring back the jump-out-of-your-seat moments!) then this one might be worth checking out.

How about you guys, are you looking forward to Bioshock Infinite?  Do you think it can reclaim the magic of the first Bioshock game?

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When Star Wars Characters are out of Place

I like a good cameo appearance as much as anyone, and that's especially true when it comes to characters from one of my all-time favorite franchises: Star Wars.  When done correctly, with proper respect paid to the characters and the entire franchise, these cameos can be awesome.  When done not so well, we are left with something that's at best awkward, and at worst cringe-worthy.  Today we're going to take a look at some games that have had the privilege of including one or more Star Wars characters, even when they didn't quite fit in.

Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3

Actually, including this game on the list shouldn't come as too big of a surprise.  The Tony Hawk series has been known to have crazy casts of secret characters, allowing you to bust combos as Iron Man or Bigfoot.  Tony Hawk 3 is notable due to the fact that one of the secret characters is the bad-ass who was killed off too quickly: Darth Maul.

Judging by the way he's holding that lightsaber, I don't think he recommends you try to edit his appearance or board.

Once you get over the fact that you are witnessing a Star Wars character perform 360 tailgrabs, you'll find that Darth Maul still looks like a bad-ass as he shreds around the maps holding his double-bladed lightsaber.  Therefore, this cameo appearance isn't one that should make you cringe too hard, unless of course you're one of those anti-everything-in-Episode 1 people.

Soulcalibur IV

When you think of the Soulcalibur games, what usually comes to mind are Victorian-era environments and characters obsessed with evil swords.  I'm willing to bet you don't immediately think of Darth Vader delivering a beatdown on Mitsurugi.  However, thanks to Soulcalibur IV, this is now the case!  The fourth game in this series included three Star Wars characters: Darth Vader, Yoda, and the Apprentice (from The Force Unleashed).

What? Don't you remember when Darth Vader and Yoda dueled in the medieval castle in The Empire Strikes Back?

These characters are all way out of place in a Soulcalibur game, and sadly they all look just plain goofy while they battle the fantasy characters who are regulars in the series.  Forget a galaxy far far away, the Soulcalibur universe is a whole other dimension far far away from Star Wars.  To Namco's credit, they did do a good job making sure the Star Wars characters retained their mannerisms instead of going all out goofy, and playing a Darth Vader vs. Yoda battle in a Star Destroyer docking bay is pretty awesome.

The Dance Mode in Kinect Star Wars

I can hear you all forming the same sentence: "Now wait a minute Rob, how can this be a cameo appearance when this is an actual Star Wars game?"  Well I had no choice but to include this game on my list, due to the disastrous way the developers handled our beloved Star Wars characters in the dance mode (there shouldn't even be a dance mode in a Star Wars game).  In the movies, Emperor Palpatine does NOT dance, neither does Darth Vader or any other protagonist/antagonist in the series.  Yet Kinect Star Wars has all of our favorite characters busting a groove and looking completely stupid doing so.  Words cannot describe it, so you'll have to see for yourself:



And that concludes our quick look at some Star Wars cameos in other game franchises.  If you're a Star Wars fan, I hope this list didn't ruin the series too much for you!  I personally get along just fine by pretending the lousy Kinect game doesn't exist.

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The Big Head Cheat Code

Okay admit it, you have used the infamous "Big Head" cheat code in at least one videogame during your years of gaming.  And while we are visiting this nostalgic cheat code, it's okay to admit that you had a case of the giggles while witnessing balloon-headed characters go about their business.  As a kid I used this code countless times for various Nintendo 64 games, even if it only provided a laugh for about 20 seconds.

It seems like this cheat code used to be included in multiple genres of games, from sports games like NFL Blitz...

One of the stranger big head cheat codes, in most games this code usually makes all characters rock the swollen melon.

...to first person shooters such as Goldeneye 007 on the N64:

Bond contemplates jumping off the dam to end the headache you have inflicted upon him.

Why did developers provide this cheat in so many games?  And why did we use this code?  Let's not be in denial, it was used, or else it would have gone extinct very early on.  Surely we aren't that immature to actually like this cheat code, are we?  Yes, we are, we like seeing distorted humans walk/run/talk.  It's cheap humor, and apparently it extended playtime to the point where developers found it worthwhile to include it in their games.

I hope this post was able to bring back some memories of the days when we would laugh at something stupid such as this......alright who am I kidding?  We still laugh at stupid things, otherwise Youtube would have disappeared long ago.

Out of curiosity, what were your favorite cheat codes back in the day?

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Birdy the Alcoholic Scarecrow

I love Conker's Bad Fur Day.  Say what you will about having a game filled with crude adult humor on a Nintendo system, but this is still the funniest game I've ever played.  The stages, most of which parodied popular movies, were all memorable and enjoyable (as well as frustrating, I'm looking at you, dinosaur-themed world).  We know from a previous posting about a certain sentient pile of dung that Conker has its fair share of weirdness, and today I want to talk about one of my favorite characters in the game: Birdy the Scarecrow.

He almost looks like a distant relative of Jack Skellington from the Nightmare Before Christmas.

You are introduced to Birdy fairly early in the game, in a tutorial sequence that teaches Conker how to use context-sensitive platforms (which are just platforms you stand on in order to activate a special power-up specific to that area of the map).  After you get over the shock of having a creepy-looking scarecrow come to life and talk to you, you immediately notice that this guy is totally wasted.  What follows is a hilarious conversation between Conker and Birdy where Birdy tries to explain the concept of context-sensitive areas, while clearly not knowing the meaning of context-sensitivity.

But in the end, Conker finally uses a nearby context-sensitive (trust me, after watching this sequence of the game, you will never get tired of saying "context-sensitive") platform to give a beer to his new straw-filled buddy.



Sadly you only run into Birdy at one other point in the game, during another funny sequence where he rambles on about reading manuals and wanting Mepsi Pax (a play on Pepsi Max, a favorite drink of a member of the Conker development team who was nicknamed Beardy). Whether you love him or are annoyed with him, you have to agree that Birdy is one weird and unique character!

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