(IOU) "Chet"

“Chet”

Chet is Cthulhu’s half brother. Chet is a stereotype of a slacker hippie. He has his tentacles pulled back and like dreadlocks, is barefoot, large pot belly, smelly, dirty shirt (which is a midriff) and always looking to score some reefer. He is a philosophy major with little ambition. He is often seen on the quad playing ultimate Frisbee with his friends. He has followers from the religious studies who claim he is “the one”, not his brother, but he often just tells them to relax and uses them to do his bidding like getting him “grind-edge” or more pot to smoke.

Gaze of Contentment (4) While Cthulhu brings fear and insanity, Chets gaze and long term presence to a group brings a feeling of extreme relaxation and desire to stop all actions.

You Put Your Weed in There Man (3)You put your weed in there man – Chet is an expert with spatial abilities, hiding things well and packing things extremely well. On a perfect roll of 6’s on 3 D6 he unwillingly opens a dimensional door to an unknown location where anything seems to fit at the moment.

I Know You Man! (2) Chet knows most people on campus and people often feel at ease around him. If he asks them questions they often just divulge the information he wants without hesitation trusting him at the moment.

Bring the Pain (1) Chet tries not to be like his relatives (the elder gods) and wants to be more passive. However, when watch out when someone steals the Bee man. Though he is not in touch with his more aggressive self, sometimes when he gets mad a pillar of fire rains down from the heavens upon his target of anger.

Seriously, there's not a hippie Cthulhu picture on the internet? Then we'll refer back to the last known picture of the Elder Dude, from his fresh-thing year, with a little extra Pauly Shore for good measure:

“Chet”

Chet is Cthulhu’s half brother. Chet is a stereotype of a slacker hippie. He has his tentacles pulled back and like dreadlocks, is barefoot, large pot belly, smelly, dirty shirt (which is a midriff) and always looking to score some reefer. He is a philosophy major with little ambition. He is often seen on the quad playing ultimate Frisbee with his friends. He has followers from the religious studies who claim he is “the one”, not his brother, but he often just tells them to relax and uses them to do his bidding like getting him “grind-edge” or more pot to smoke.

Gaze of Contentment (4) While Cthulhu brings fear and insanity, Chets gaze and long term presence to a group brings a feeling of extreme relaxation and desire to stop all actions.

You Put Your Weed in There Man (3)You put your weed in there man – Chet is an expert with spatial abilities, hiding things well and packing things extremely well. On a perfect roll of 6’s on 3 D6 he unwillingly opens a dimensional door to an unknown location where anything seems to fit at the moment.

I Know You Man! (2) Chet knows most people on campus and people often feel at ease around him. If he asks them questions they often just divulge the information he wants without hesitation trusting him at the moment.

Bring the Pain (1) Chet tries not to be like his relatives (the elder gods) and wants to be more passive. However, when watch out when someone steals the Bee man. Though he is not in touch with his more aggressive self, sometimes when he gets mad a pillar of fire rains down from the heavens upon his target of anger.

Seriously, there's not a hippie Cthulhu picture on the internet? Then we'll refer back to the last known picture of the Elder Dude, from his fresh-thing year, with a little extra Pauly Shore for good measure:

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

(IOU) Melvin Marcawitz,

As the sessions of Illuminati University have been used as filler for some of our 5e online game cancellations, I miraculously have run through the the "available" characters for PCs, including some slated to be characters.  

Nate to the rescue!  

The player known for Norm Dingleberry, Doc Millheim, and Professor Pittleman came to the rescue and made up a number new characters for use in the campaign, and for not actually owning a copy of Risus, he did a fine job...

Melvin Marcawitz
Did I Eat That? (4)
Being poor, and a divorcee living on his own Melvin has learned to eat a variety of things that would easily turn most peoples stomachs or even injure them, but not Melvin

!!!NERDS!!!  Rage (3) 

Easily pumped to show off what little physical prowess he has, Melvin pumps himself up to possibly perform amazing feats of strength. 

Sports Statistic Rotisserie (2) 

Melvin has a vast knowledge of useless sports knowledge he believes to be true, whether it is or not. About the way sports are played and about history and games and players of the past.

Imperfect Substitute (1) 

Melvin is used to being taken advantage of. His marriage, teaching in school, even in sports, he was always the substitute or being replaced. Due to this, Melvin can easily be told to “step in and cover” someone or something in a bad situation taken the brunt on the punishment and allowing the other person to walk away unharmed and happy.

A high school gym teacher who failed to keep up with needed credits and credentials, he needs to go back to college and get a degree in PE again. He is a 43 year old divorced, single man living in the dorms. He looks a lot like Ron Jeremy, 70’s porn mustache, mullet. He wears very tight short shorts, knee high tube socks with color bands, tight polo shirt with over sized collar with few buttons done to show off lots of thick curry chest hair, large silver whistle and stop watch around his neck. He stretches and does lunges frequently. 

As a GM and player, I really picture Melvin as a cross between Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds and Cousin Rico from Napoleon Dynamite.

As the sessions of Illuminati University have been used as filler for some of our 5e online game cancellations, I miraculously have run through the the "available" characters for PCs, including some slated to be characters.  

Nate to the rescue!  

The player known for Norm Dingleberry, Doc Millheim, and Professor Pittleman came to the rescue and made up a number new characters for use in the campaign, and for not actually owning a copy of Risus, he did a fine job...

Melvin Marcawitz
Did I Eat That? (4)
Being poor, and a divorcee living on his own Melvin has learned to eat a variety of things that would easily turn most peoples stomachs or even injure them, but not Melvin

!!!NERDS!!!  Rage (3) 

Easily pumped to show off what little physical prowess he has, Melvin pumps himself up to possibly perform amazing feats of strength. 

Sports Statistic Rotisserie (2) 

Melvin has a vast knowledge of useless sports knowledge he believes to be true, whether it is or not. About the way sports are played and about history and games and players of the past.

Imperfect Substitute (1) 

Melvin is used to being taken advantage of. His marriage, teaching in school, even in sports, he was always the substitute or being replaced. Due to this, Melvin can easily be told to “step in and cover” someone or something in a bad situation taken the brunt on the punishment and allowing the other person to walk away unharmed and happy.

A high school gym teacher who failed to keep up with needed credits and credentials, he needs to go back to college and get a degree in PE again. He is a 43 year old divorced, single man living in the dorms. He looks a lot like Ron Jeremy, 70’s porn mustache, mullet. He wears very tight short shorts, knee high tube socks with color bands, tight polo shirt with over sized collar with few buttons done to show off lots of thick curry chest hair, large silver whistle and stop watch around his neck. He stretches and does lunges frequently. 

As a GM and player, I really picture Melvin as a cross between Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds and Cousin Rico from Napoleon Dynamite.

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

(RISUS - IOU) The Culligan, Man of Mystery

Another day, another billion dollars from student loans at Illuminati University.

Rayne Firewyrk, Bottled Water Hating Fire Samurai, spotted the Culligan man pushing a hand truck across campus. Knowing the horrible things that could be in the bottled water ("You don't know what's in bottled water? THAT'S THE PROBLEM!), he tried to sneak across the Pent, with a tiny bush, cartoon-style.

Yes, this is a real thing... check out Youtube.

Keith Stone sees him poorly trying to sneak across the wide-open Pent and intervened with a Keystone Light. Easily comprehending that bottled water was much more dangerous than beer, he joined the investigation. Looking for muscle to help them take down such a threat, they recruited Pepe the King Prawn and Huggy Bear, a 6'6" black mother *shut your mouth* Care Bear.  

Huggy Bear, sans his leather trench, black turtleneck, and cool hat

The Culligan went through a service entrance of cafeteria and Rayne almost made it through the closing door before suffering an asthma attack. Using his video game connections, his gamer buddy MONGO, let them in, so long as they had some sweet potato pie and come back to hang for a bit. 

"Mongo psyche filled filled with black swirling darkness."

Once they posted the discussion on Mongo's ennui, they caught a glimpse of the The Culligan dragging his hand truck down a flight of stairs. 

They finally caught up to The Culligan, who was taking his five gallon water jugs and installing them directly into the campus water supply!

Pepe attempted to dislodged the water jug and succeeded, only to have a low-lying fog seep out of the connection, knocking him out.  Huggy Bear lifted him out and Keith Stone tried to revive him with yet another Keystone Light.... in the Beer Cozy of Satan. 

Pepe woke up, mysteriously wearing thick glasses, his turtleneck and chain replaced with suspenders, his Latino accent replaced with a rare Chicago twang.

"Did I do that????" 

Pepe Urquel wanted vengeance and chased after The Culligan.  He managed to circle around him, and catch off guard, but failed to do anything.  Huggy Bear stared down The Culligan, but The Culligan whipped out a '50s style ray gun and knocked him out AND disarmed Rayne's katana.  The Culligan threw his last 5-gallon jug at a unsuspecting Pepe Urquel.  Keith Stone slid into the jug's path.  The jug hit him with a resounding thud, and Stone's body still slammed into the king prawn.  Gathering their senses, Keith's pride was the only thing wounded, and Pepe was back to his Latin Lothario ways....   

Rayne recovered his katana and disarmed The Culligan, forcing him to flee.  Another chase through the pipe-strewn basement confirmed to Rayne that he really need to work on cardio.  The Culligan was ultimately trapped in a dark and dingy break room.   In one last act of desperation, he pulled down a vending machine, which cracked open, sending dozens of 16oz bottles of water everywhere.

When the others finally caught up to Rayne, they found the floor covered with water and sliced open bottles, the cover to an air vent lying against the wall, The Culligan gone. 

A friendly delivery man, or a secret warrior of a mysterious society?

When they finally get to the surface, The Culligan's truck was gone, but a license plate vanity frame was left in it's spot...  "H2O to GO..."

...but first it was time for sweet potato pie and friendship.

GM Note:  Another online D&D session was cancelled, this time our DM was available, but the main character who was central to the storyline had a family medical emergency.  

Time to whip out Risus.  

The entire session was based on the first question I asked Jeff (Rayne's player),  "What does Rayne see as he's chilling on the Pent?"  

"I see the Culligan man delivering water.  I need to exact vengeance."

Game. Set. Match.

I will say that I need to make/post a few more NPCs for IOU.  I'm running a bit low after relying on them for these last two games.  

Another day, another billion dollars from student loans at Illuminati University.

Rayne Firewyrk, Bottled Water Hating Fire Samurai, spotted the Culligan man pushing a hand truck across campus. Knowing the horrible things that could be in the bottled water ("You don't know what's in bottled water? THAT'S THE PROBLEM!), he tried to sneak across the Pent, with a tiny bush, cartoon-style.

Yes, this is a real thing... check out Youtube.

Keith Stone sees him poorly trying to sneak across the wide-open Pent and intervened with a Keystone Light. Easily comprehending that bottled water was much more dangerous than beer, he joined the investigation. Looking for muscle to help them take down such a threat, they recruited Pepe the King Prawn and Huggy Bear, a 6'6" black mother *shut your mouth* Care Bear.  

Huggy Bear, sans his leather trench, black turtleneck, and cool hat

The Culligan went through a service entrance of cafeteria and Rayne almost made it through the closing door before suffering an asthma attack. Using his video game connections, his gamer buddy MONGO, let them in, so long as they had some sweet potato pie and come back to hang for a bit. 

"Mongo psyche filled filled with black swirling darkness."

Once they posted the discussion on Mongo's ennui, they caught a glimpse of the The Culligan dragging his hand truck down a flight of stairs. 

They finally caught up to The Culligan, who was taking his five gallon water jugs and installing them directly into the campus water supply!

Pepe attempted to dislodged the water jug and succeeded, only to have a low-lying fog seep out of the connection, knocking him out.  Huggy Bear lifted him out and Keith Stone tried to revive him with yet another Keystone Light.... in the Beer Cozy of Satan. 

Pepe woke up, mysteriously wearing thick glasses, his turtleneck and chain replaced with suspenders, his Latino accent replaced with a rare Chicago twang.

"Did I do that????" 

Pepe Urquel wanted vengeance and chased after The Culligan.  He managed to circle around him, and catch off guard, but failed to do anything.  Huggy Bear stared down The Culligan, but The Culligan whipped out a '50s style ray gun and knocked him out AND disarmed Rayne's katana.  The Culligan threw his last 5-gallon jug at a unsuspecting Pepe Urquel.  Keith Stone slid into the jug's path.  The jug hit him with a resounding thud, and Stone's body still slammed into the king prawn.  Gathering their senses, Keith's pride was the only thing wounded, and Pepe was back to his Latin Lothario ways....   

Rayne recovered his katana and disarmed The Culligan, forcing him to flee.  Another chase through the pipe-strewn basement confirmed to Rayne that he really need to work on cardio.  The Culligan was ultimately trapped in a dark and dingy break room.   In one last act of desperation, he pulled down a vending machine, which cracked open, sending dozens of 16oz bottles of water everywhere.

When the others finally caught up to Rayne, they found the floor covered with water and sliced open bottles, the cover to an air vent lying against the wall, The Culligan gone. 

A friendly delivery man, or a secret warrior of a mysterious society?

When they finally get to the surface, The Culligan's truck was gone, but a license plate vanity frame was left in it's spot...  "H2O to GO..."

...but first it was time for sweet potato pie and friendship.

GM Note:  Another online D&D session was cancelled, this time our DM was available, but the main character who was central to the storyline had a family medical emergency.  

Time to whip out Risus.  

The entire session was based on the first question I asked Jeff (Rayne's player),  "What does Rayne see as he's chilling on the Pent?"  

"I see the Culligan man delivering water.  I need to exact vengeance."

Game. Set. Match.

I will say that I need to make/post a few more NPCs for IOU.  I'm running a bit low after relying on them for these last two games.  

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

(IOU) Huggy Bear

Huggy Bear - Righteous Care Bear with Attitude
"Damn Right" (4)  - Able to persuade most people using his coolness.  Where applicable, three ladies jump out of no where, and a funk riff plays and they "Damn Right..."
CareBear Stare (3)
"What it is, Mother F'er" (2) - Intense Observation
"What is in there?" (1) Can reach into his Afro and pull random items, not always what he intended

Huggy Bear - Righteous Care Bear with Attitude
"Damn Right" (4)  - Able to persuade most people using his coolness.  Where applicable, three ladies jump out of no where, and a funk riff plays and they "Damn Right..."
CareBear Stare (3)
"What it is, Mother F'er" (2) - Intense Observation
"What is in there?" (1) Can reach into his Afro and pull random items, not always what he intended

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

(Risus) The Texas Roadhouse Massacre

Another semester at Illuminati University starting, the almost smooth Keith Stone was taking some air after his latest conquest.  Across the Pent, he spied Professor Pittleman hovering down the sidewalk towards one of the science building.  Then, all of a sudden, *poof*, he was gone!

Inside the building, Professor Pittleman's new assistant was waiting outside the Physics lab.  It was unsure why Student Affairs gave a music major a job in a particle accelerator lab, but new Freshthing Walken the Minotaur was ready for anything.  Already confused that an exotic bush was navigating the Pent in a miniature hovercraft, he was flabbergasted when the creature simply vanished from his view.  Frightened, yet emboldened, the minotaur dashed down the stairs and out towards the Pent.

Keith Stone could barely believe his eyes with the disappearance of his friend, and as he jogged over to the stop, was even more distraught when he spied a minotaur in a Blue Oyster Cult t-shirt charging him!

Walken took notice of the imminent collision and changed course, gracefully avoiding the Light Beer Connoisseur, only knocking off his hat with a whip of the tail.  Keith Stone didn't believe the Professor disappeared willingly anymore than he believed Walken was a minotaur, and decided a drink was in order to clear his mind.  He invited Walken to tag alongside with him, stole a campus police golf cart, and drove off-campus to Texas Roadhouse.  Walken discovered he passes out from motion sickness, but a quick brew in the Keith's Beer Cozy of Satan reinvigorated him.

Inside the Texas Roadhouse, they discovered an odd sight:  A pirate dancing on the mechanical, all the while wielding scissors against the waitstaff.

As always, Keith smooths over the misunderstanding, and Scissorhand John joins the drinking foray.
After a few hours of Keystone Lights, Tater Skins, and Cactus Blossoms, the server presented the bill, and the pirate made a mad dash out the door, "Because that's what pirates do at restaurants!"

Walken chased after the pirate, pulled out his fife and played a pirate song that lured Scissorhand John back into the Texas Roadhouse, where all was forgotten again and drinking resumed, along with a desire for Karaoke.

The minotaur got up to sing, and pulled out his fife and cowbell, ready to do a soulful rendition of Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" from Titantic.  But to his surprise, the Karaoke dude put in the Chilean Wind Chime version, forcing him to make some musical changes.  In the end, the restaurant erupted, Walken got some middle-aged groupies, but lost his cool with the ladies and promptly blew chunks.  Keith Stone promptly grabbed a vintage atomic spittoon from the floor to block the gastro barrage.  The combination of the minotaur vomit and tobacco juice being broken down by radioactive decay forced the device to go into meltdown.

Despite having no experience in nuclear sciences, Keith Stone prevented the strip mall from becoming a radioactive wasteland, thanks to the Beer Cozy of Satan, some Keystone Light, and the peanut shells that littered the floor.

He then ran off with two of the middle-aged women in the stolen police golf cart to his dorm room for 45 seconds of pleasure.

Without even realizing their swill-drinking friend was gone, the pirate and the minotaur were accosted by a swashbuckling gelatinous cube, William Cosplay.  He was an officer with the Cosmic Police with a warrant to arrest Scissorhand John for illegal temporal movement.  As the strangely acrobatic cube pursued the pirate, he knocks into another patron, forcing him to spill his beer.

Scissorhand John had angered the immortally badass Snake Gandhi, who was simply trying to enjoy a relaxing evening of friend pickles and a porterhouse t-bone.

Snake Gandhi was wiping the floor with the pirate with simple fisticuffs, but when he decided to pull out of one of his two invisible katanas with laser sights, Walken could take no more.  He dove in front of the Hindu badass and blocked the see-through blade with with his cowbell.

The resulting explosion took weeks to piece back together.

*The minotaur was last seen walking alongside the highway, the restaurant's Karaoke machine in tow.
*The pirate was last seen in a psych ward, suffering from complete amnesia, watching the movie Dodgeball over and over again.
*Keith Stone checked off "3-way w/ 2 MILFs" off his semester bucket list.

.... and in the rubble of the restaurant, Snake Gandhi kicked through the rubble, only to stop in utter surprise and pick up an illegal wrist chronal navigator.

Scissorhand John was a time-travel pirate, after all...

GM Notes: I absolutely adore the 5th Edition D&D online game I play in Monday nights, but for the last two weeks, scheduling has been a nightmare.  Between work and family obligations, the GMs has had to cancel enough sessions that I got my Risus: Terraforming Mars game finished. Two weeks ago, the GM had to bail last minute, and I commandeered Steve, Nate, and Chris to run this session of IOU.  

Fun fact:  I've got a rant about open-ending, cooperative role-playing coming up this weekend, but with this dropped on me at the last minute, I figured I'd get Keith Stone, Walken, and Professor Pittleman together before we figured out what direction the session would go.

Then Nate (Prof Pittleman) mysteriously dropped off the Skype call, and couldn't be reached by any means for around ten minutes.

Knowing Nate's history with Skype is worse than mine, I made the executive decision to simply made the good Professor vanish into thin air and proceed from there.  So, when Nate finally reconnected, the other two were already heading to Texas Roadhouse. 

Insert Nate Character 2.0:  Scissorhand John:  Time-travelling pirate I made up from a news story awhile back.  

And if you notice the final line of this post, we had scheduling issues this week as well, so there is a part two (and a Nate Character 3.0.  This time he made up his own at the start of the session.)

No spoilers, but a part three is definitely a possibility. 

Next Up: Culligan, Man of Mystery!

Another semester at Illuminati University starting, the almost smooth Keith Stone was taking some air after his latest conquest.  Across the Pent, he spied Professor Pittleman hovering down the sidewalk towards one of the science building.  Then, all of a sudden, *poof*, he was gone!

Inside the building, Professor Pittleman's new assistant was waiting outside the Physics lab.  It was unsure why Student Affairs gave a music major a job in a particle accelerator lab, but new Freshthing Walken the Minotaur was ready for anything.  Already confused that an exotic bush was navigating the Pent in a miniature hovercraft, he was flabbergasted when the creature simply vanished from his view.  Frightened, yet emboldened, the minotaur dashed down the stairs and out towards the Pent.

Keith Stone could barely believe his eyes with the disappearance of his friend, and as he jogged over to the stop, was even more distraught when he spied a minotaur in a Blue Oyster Cult t-shirt charging him!

Walken took notice of the imminent collision and changed course, gracefully avoiding the Light Beer Connoisseur, only knocking off his hat with a whip of the tail.  Keith Stone didn't believe the Professor disappeared willingly anymore than he believed Walken was a minotaur, and decided a drink was in order to clear his mind.  He invited Walken to tag alongside with him, stole a campus police golf cart, and drove off-campus to Texas Roadhouse.  Walken discovered he passes out from motion sickness, but a quick brew in the Keith's Beer Cozy of Satan reinvigorated him.

Inside the Texas Roadhouse, they discovered an odd sight:  A pirate dancing on the mechanical, all the while wielding scissors against the waitstaff.

As always, Keith smooths over the misunderstanding, and Scissorhand John joins the drinking foray.
After a few hours of Keystone Lights, Tater Skins, and Cactus Blossoms, the server presented the bill, and the pirate made a mad dash out the door, "Because that's what pirates do at restaurants!"

Walken chased after the pirate, pulled out his fife and played a pirate song that lured Scissorhand John back into the Texas Roadhouse, where all was forgotten again and drinking resumed, along with a desire for Karaoke.

The minotaur got up to sing, and pulled out his fife and cowbell, ready to do a soulful rendition of Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" from Titantic.  But to his surprise, the Karaoke dude put in the Chilean Wind Chime version, forcing him to make some musical changes.  In the end, the restaurant erupted, Walken got some middle-aged groupies, but lost his cool with the ladies and promptly blew chunks.  Keith Stone promptly grabbed a vintage atomic spittoon from the floor to block the gastro barrage.  The combination of the minotaur vomit and tobacco juice being broken down by radioactive decay forced the device to go into meltdown.

Despite having no experience in nuclear sciences, Keith Stone prevented the strip mall from becoming a radioactive wasteland, thanks to the Beer Cozy of Satan, some Keystone Light, and the peanut shells that littered the floor.

He then ran off with two of the middle-aged women in the stolen police golf cart to his dorm room for 45 seconds of pleasure.

Without even realizing their swill-drinking friend was gone, the pirate and the minotaur were accosted by a swashbuckling gelatinous cube, William Cosplay.  He was an officer with the Cosmic Police with a warrant to arrest Scissorhand John for illegal temporal movement.  As the strangely acrobatic cube pursued the pirate, he knocks into another patron, forcing him to spill his beer.

Scissorhand John had angered the immortally badass Snake Gandhi, who was simply trying to enjoy a relaxing evening of friend pickles and a porterhouse t-bone.

Snake Gandhi was wiping the floor with the pirate with simple fisticuffs, but when he decided to pull out of one of his two invisible katanas with laser sights, Walken could take no more.  He dove in front of the Hindu badass and blocked the see-through blade with with his cowbell.

The resulting explosion took weeks to piece back together.

*The minotaur was last seen walking alongside the highway, the restaurant's Karaoke machine in tow.
*The pirate was last seen in a psych ward, suffering from complete amnesia, watching the movie Dodgeball over and over again.
*Keith Stone checked off "3-way w/ 2 MILFs" off his semester bucket list.

.... and in the rubble of the restaurant, Snake Gandhi kicked through the rubble, only to stop in utter surprise and pick up an illegal wrist chronal navigator.

Scissorhand John was a time-travel pirate, after all...

GM Notes: I absolutely adore the 5th Edition D&D online game I play in Monday nights, but for the last two weeks, scheduling has been a nightmare.  Between work and family obligations, the GMs has had to cancel enough sessions that I got my Risus: Terraforming Mars game finished. Two weeks ago, the GM had to bail last minute, and I commandeered Steve, Nate, and Chris to run this session of IOU.  

Fun fact:  I've got a rant about open-ending, cooperative role-playing coming up this weekend, but with this dropped on me at the last minute, I figured I'd get Keith Stone, Walken, and Professor Pittleman together before we figured out what direction the session would go.

Then Nate (Prof Pittleman) mysteriously dropped off the Skype call, and couldn't be reached by any means for around ten minutes.

Knowing Nate's history with Skype is worse than mine, I made the executive decision to simply made the good Professor vanish into thin air and proceed from there.  So, when Nate finally reconnected, the other two were already heading to Texas Roadhouse. 

Insert Nate Character 2.0:  Scissorhand John:  Time-travelling pirate I made up from a news story awhile back.  

And if you notice the final line of this post, we had scheduling issues this week as well, so there is a part two (and a Nate Character 3.0.  This time he made up his own at the start of the session.)

No spoilers, but a part three is definitely a possibility. 

Next Up: Culligan, Man of Mystery!

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

Terraforming Mars: The RPG

While we're just getting our traditional Sunday RPG session converted to online play, the Monday night 5e game on Roll20 is going swell.  My elf barbarian, Falgor, has reached 2nd level, and is ready to cleave into a new character this past Monday night, after we wasted the last session in PvP mode.

But that session never materialized.  Jeff, our GM, gave us notice that he was bailing a little more than an hour before start, so Nate, Steve, and myself completed the second half of my Terraforming Mars RPG, using Risus.

Setting:  Mars 2048
Early Colonizers have only partial successes in terraforming Mars.  With fertilizer, soil has produced bumper yields, water has been extracted from beneath the surface, but protective greenhouse tenting is still required to protect the plants from radiation and the sudden high winds.

Excavation of a new agriculture plot has netted a strange discovery: a piece of curved steel with what appears to be hundreds of tiny rivets.  A team of geologists are dispatched to clear that corner of the site while your team continues the mission.

Over four hours of online play, botantist Beth Bowers, techs Newman Ramirez and "Burps" Ramirez (no relation), and "Project Liaison" Rick Vogel investigated the strange site, drove the colony manager insane, and infiltrated a plot about "Red Power."   In the end, a mysterious source of oxygen was rapidly filling the atmosphere, and only Liaison Vogel was saved to tell the tale.

Not a bad playtest of a scenario given that a) Steve and Nate can undermine the best ideas (including attempting to seduce a hostile in the middle of combat) and b) the scenario idea started with the phrase "Nazi-infused Martian DNA."   Probably a random statement from Ken and Robin Talk About Stuff that caught my interest, but time has buried that memory.

Still, with some touch-ups, I have a decent convention event.  

While we're just getting our traditional Sunday RPG session converted to online play, the Monday night 5e game on Roll20 is going swell.  My elf barbarian, Falgor, has reached 2nd level, and is ready to cleave into a new character this past Monday night, after we wasted the last session in PvP mode.

But that session never materialized.  Jeff, our GM, gave us notice that he was bailing a little more than an hour before start, so Nate, Steve, and myself completed the second half of my Terraforming Mars RPG, using Risus.

Setting:  Mars 2048
Early Colonizers have only partial successes in terraforming Mars.  With fertilizer, soil has produced bumper yields, water has been extracted from beneath the surface, but protective greenhouse tenting is still required to protect the plants from radiation and the sudden high winds.

Excavation of a new agriculture plot has netted a strange discovery: a piece of curved steel with what appears to be hundreds of tiny rivets.  A team of geologists are dispatched to clear that corner of the site while your team continues the mission.

Over four hours of online play, botantist Beth Bowers, techs Newman Ramirez and "Burps" Ramirez (no relation), and "Project Liaison" Rick Vogel investigated the strange site, drove the colony manager insane, and infiltrated a plot about "Red Power."   In the end, a mysterious source of oxygen was rapidly filling the atmosphere, and only Liaison Vogel was saved to tell the tale.

Not a bad playtest of a scenario given that a) Steve and Nate can undermine the best ideas (including attempting to seduce a hostile in the middle of combat) and b) the scenario idea started with the phrase "Nazi-infused Martian DNA."   Probably a random statement from Ken and Robin Talk About Stuff that caught my interest, but time has buried that memory.

Still, with some touch-ups, I have a decent convention event.  

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

#RPGaDay 2017 Day 22: What RPGs are the Easiest to Run?

We begin the third week of #RPGaDay 2017 with "What RPGs are the Easiest to Run?"

The not so short answers:  Anything I GM is Easy.  Savage Worlds, D&D, Hackmaster, GURPS, PbtA, if I'm running the system, it's because I've picked up on the concepts and can easily related them to any new players.

Fun side story: I've seen plenty of rules-lite/improve heavy systems clunker down in the midst of combat, for a number of reasons, usually more in the player/GM spectrum.  I managed to run the entire G1 Steading of the Hill Giant Chieftain in Hackmaster in four hours and fifteen minutes.   Did I mention that the PCs tripped the alarm early on, and outside of half-hour slog-fest when they did get pinned down in a room for a bit (It's f20 gaming, it happens.), they were able to break through and have a gripping, frantic running battle through the caverns beneath the steading?  I don't have the exact casualties on hand, but they went through more than a dozen encounters, which, if they were playing other appropriate f20 games, would take numerous sessions for even the hardcore players I know.  At 10:15 that night, the PCs were walking away from the burning steading with the chieftain's head in their possession, the end credits rolling, and the players taking their first deep breaths in hours.  If you know your stuff, any RPG is "easy."

That being said, if I needed to run something RIGHT NOW and have it be easy and awesome, it would be Risus

C'mon, a handful of  d6's, a scrap of paper to write down stats, and we're game for an adventure in the Horrible Dungeon of the Imminent Random Encounter, Supernatural Space Adventures Based Off of Comic Book Movie #15619, saving the village from the adorable rampage of dire pugs, or a simple trip to the convenience store to grab chips and queso.

Risus gives me the basic framework to make it happen.

Heck, those first three ideas could happen on the way to the store *spoilers!*  The expired salsa is probably behind it all, but all fingers point to the guac.

Thanks #RPGaDay, I have the plot for the my next Illuminati University game!

"I left my coupon for the queso back at the house..."

EDIT:  When the list comes out for #RPGaDay in July, I start knocking these bad boys out early for three reasons.  First, my schedule in late August is particularly crazy, and I don't want to get this far in and not finish the experiment. Second, I don't want other people's answers to influence my measly thoughts, no matter how much better they are. Finally, I don't game enough that the sessions might radically alter my answers.  

However, last night, our friendly 5th Edition D&D game was cancelled and who came to the rescue with a filler game?   *THIS GUY*

And what did I run?  Risus. Although, despite all the talk above about comic books and queso, it was a hard sci-fi game.  Characters were part of the early Mars colonists, just starting to terraform the planet.  Outside a few botched rolls that transformed the Strategic Program Advisor (aka "Mars Commissar") into Steve Urkel, the game was run entirely straight and it worked great.  

It was only the last five minutes when I revealed Nazis and a White Martian grabbing the commissar in some caves beneath the surface that things were guaranteed to devolve into B-Movie status we love so very much whenever we get the chance to play again.

We begin the third week of #RPGaDay 2017 with "What RPGs are the Easiest to Run?"

The not so short answers:  Anything I GM is Easy.  Savage Worlds, D&D, Hackmaster, GURPS, PbtA, if I'm running the system, it's because I've picked up on the concepts and can easily related them to any new players.

Fun side story: I've seen plenty of rules-lite/improve heavy systems clunker down in the midst of combat, for a number of reasons, usually more in the player/GM spectrum.  I managed to run the entire G1 Steading of the Hill Giant Chieftain in Hackmaster in four hours and fifteen minutes.   Did I mention that the PCs tripped the alarm early on, and outside of half-hour slog-fest when they did get pinned down in a room for a bit (It's f20 gaming, it happens.), they were able to break through and have a gripping, frantic running battle through the caverns beneath the steading?  I don't have the exact casualties on hand, but they went through more than a dozen encounters, which, if they were playing other appropriate f20 games, would take numerous sessions for even the hardcore players I know.  At 10:15 that night, the PCs were walking away from the burning steading with the chieftain's head in their possession, the end credits rolling, and the players taking their first deep breaths in hours.  If you know your stuff, any RPG is "easy."

That being said, if I needed to run something RIGHT NOW and have it be easy and awesome, it would be Risus

C'mon, a handful of  d6's, a scrap of paper to write down stats, and we're game for an adventure in the Horrible Dungeon of the Imminent Random Encounter, Supernatural Space Adventures Based Off of Comic Book Movie #15619, saving the village from the adorable rampage of dire pugs, or a simple trip to the convenience store to grab chips and queso.

Risus gives me the basic framework to make it happen.

Heck, those first three ideas could happen on the way to the store *spoilers!*  The expired salsa is probably behind it all, but all fingers point to the guac.

Thanks #RPGaDay, I have the plot for the my next Illuminati University game!

"I left my coupon for the queso back at the house..."

EDIT:  When the list comes out for #RPGaDay in July, I start knocking these bad boys out early for three reasons.  First, my schedule in late August is particularly crazy, and I don't want to get this far in and not finish the experiment. Second, I don't want other people's answers to influence my measly thoughts, no matter how much better they are. Finally, I don't game enough that the sessions might radically alter my answers.  

However, last night, our friendly 5th Edition D&D game was cancelled and who came to the rescue with a filler game?   *THIS GUY*

And what did I run?  Risus. Although, despite all the talk above about comic books and queso, it was a hard sci-fi game.  Characters were part of the early Mars colonists, just starting to terraform the planet.  Outside a few botched rolls that transformed the Strategic Program Advisor (aka "Mars Commissar") into Steve Urkel, the game was run entirely straight and it worked great.  

It was only the last five minutes when I revealed Nazis and a White Martian grabbing the commissar in some caves beneath the surface that things were guaranteed to devolve into B-Movie status we love so very much whenever we get the chance to play again.

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

(Risus) Buckaroo Banzai

In celebration of the 33rd Anniversary of the original release date The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension, let's take a look at the man, myth, the rock star, Buckaroo Banzai.



Dr. Buckaroo Banzi
"Remember.... No matter where you go, there you are..."
Extraordinary Brain Surgeon (7)
Inventor and Driver of the electrifying Jet Car (5)
Philosopher-Rock Star (4)
Linguist in a dozen languages and songwriter in all of them (3)

In celebration of the 33rd Anniversary of the original release date The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension, let's take a look at the man, myth, the rock star, Buckaroo Banzai.



Dr. Buckaroo Banzi
"Remember.... No matter where you go, there you are..."
Extraordinary Brain Surgeon (7)
Inventor and Driver of the electrifying Jet Car (5)
Philosopher-Rock Star (4)
Linguist in a dozen languages and songwriter in all of them (3)

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

#RPGaDay 2017 Day 8: What is a Good RPG to Play for Session 2 Hours or Less.

Huzzah!   Day 8: "What is a Good RPG to Play for Sessions 2 Hours or Less."

We are blessed nowadays with a plethora of small press games that seem perfect for two hour sessions. Truth be told, perhaps it's the magic of audio editing in podcasts making games appear to fit the ninety minute or two hour slot.

One thing I've learned from the +1 Forward Podcast is a healthy reminder that a game session is broken down into individual segments, scenes, and resolutions. The podcast takes only a few minutes to tinker with the themes and special mechanics for the particular Powered by the Apocalypse hack in an actual play covered in the episode, but it's normally a perfect length introduction to a scenario that can easily run two hours (or longer if so inclined).

That all being said, my default 2-hour RPG, has been, and might always be Risus: The Anything RPG.

Risus was always perfect to close out our annual "Day of Sloth" Labor Day Picnic, which was two hours. It can get slightly complicated if you want it to, but at its essence, I need a stack of index cards, writing implements, six-sided dice and two hours for my ongoing Illuminati University campaign.

After a short hiatus, we hope to have start the picnic up this Labor Day, and I hope to keep the game moving.  Time to start hacking away at the backlog of gaming ideas for the campaign, two hours at a time. 

Huzzah!   Day 8: "What is a Good RPG to Play for Sessions 2 Hours or Less."

We are blessed nowadays with a plethora of small press games that seem perfect for two hour sessions. Truth be told, perhaps it's the magic of audio editing in podcasts making games appear to fit the ninety minute or two hour slot.

One thing I've learned from the +1 Forward Podcast is a healthy reminder that a game session is broken down into individual segments, scenes, and resolutions. The podcast takes only a few minutes to tinker with the themes and special mechanics for the particular Powered by the Apocalypse hack in an actual play covered in the episode, but it's normally a perfect length introduction to a scenario that can easily run two hours (or longer if so inclined).

That all being said, my default 2-hour RPG, has been, and might always be Risus: The Anything RPG.

Risus was always perfect to close out our annual "Day of Sloth" Labor Day Picnic, which was two hours. It can get slightly complicated if you want it to, but at its essence, I need a stack of index cards, writing implements, six-sided dice and two hours for my ongoing Illuminati University campaign.

After a short hiatus, we hope to have start the picnic up this Labor Day, and I hope to keep the game moving.  Time to start hacking away at the backlog of gaming ideas for the campaign, two hours at a time. 

reade more... Résuméabuiyad